Ozzy Osbourne - Scream review

Ozzy Osbourne's tenth studio album, Scream, suffers from the same problem as so many other new albums by aging rockstars. It wants, more than anything to at least be a "good" album. When you reach a certain age it's the most that fans can hope for. Instead, Scream collapses under the weight of its own excess. A hodgepodge combination of commercial power ballads, processed vocals, monster truck rally anthems and modern rock radio fare (peppered with occasional teases of goodness thanks to Gus G's heavenly lead guitar and the occasional Sabbath-esque riff), Scream shows a beloved (though not so much anymore) heavy metal icon grasping at the last straws of relevance.

The album opens with "Let it Die," which sounds promising at first, opening with an interesting riff. The production is clear, with good separation between the bass, drums and guitar. This all falls apart as we enter the pseudo-industrial verse, replete with throbbing bass and Ozzy's processed, practically rapped vocal part. Track two (and the album's first single) "Let Me Hear You Scream" establishes more issues for the album. This is a blatant pop song, obviously written to be the intro music for some third-rate professional wrestler to walk out to. The chorus may quite possibly be one of the dumbest things Ozzy has ever sung (right behind the last album's "I Don't Wanna Stop.") This is a cold, calculated and downright dumb attempt at hooking the "18 to 35-year-old male demographic" with a piece of music that embraces every ham-fisted thing that is wrong about modern metal.

As we progress through the album we have "Soul Sucker," another sludgy industrial tune with lame, processed vocals in between verses. The chorus comes off as sounding something one would find on a Disturbed album. Not even the awesome, uptempo lead break midway through is enough to save the song. Hey, Kevin Churko (the album's producer and main songwriter), just because your riff is one note, slow, bent and downtuned does NOT make it "heavy!"

Then we get the album's first ballad, "Life Won't Wait." Ozzy's solo career has always been renowned for its' high quality ballads, and Scream continues the trend. In fact, I would go as far as to say that the ballads are the album's best quality. They may suffer from the same calculated pop sheen as the rest of the songs, but at least Ozzy sings them with honesty and feeling. The song is also a showcase for bassist Blasko's fantastic fretless basswork. Plus, I don't feel like some 500-pound slob is drooling on my arm during a John Cena vs. HHH match when I listen to them.

Beyond this point it's hard to continue on a track-by-track review. Rather, we can review the rest based on what dumb cliches they embrace. For example, we have an epic track questioning God (Ozzy even mentions His Only Son by name!), complete with a palm-muted open string chug that would make even Munky and Head blush with envy. Then we have a rocker whose chorus begs to be shouted by an arena of adoring drunken rednecks, another power ballad, some more arena rockers (including at least two with lyrics either about rocking, how Ozzy will never stop rocking or how much Ozzy wants you to rock for or with him), a song about a serial killer, and FINALLY, the song named after his signature catchphrase, the minute-long piano ballad "I Love You All."

So no, Ozzy can't sing anymore. He can't write lyrics, his judgment in collaborators is very poor, he's chained to a career that exists somewhere between caricature and self-parody and his wife runs his life. At least he has a sweet band behind him. If only he'd let them write the songs instead of letting his producer write 11 pop tunes, add some distortion and call it a "metal" album. Don't get me wrong, Ozzy's music has always been concurrent with what's popular. However, in the 80s he had the benefits of great band chemistry, strong songwriting and energy fueling albums that are now considered classics by many. Writing some hip tunes and cheesy lyrics for a 61-year-old man to spew over them might sound like a good idea when Sharon Osbourne is paying you to do it, but in the end what we have is a mishmash of bad ideas, lyrical cliches and blatant pandering to demographics that continue the Prince of Darkness' further downward slide past irrelevance into obsolescence.

"But I saw the sky, and I never wanna die"

On Sunday, May 16th, I got so many condolences you would've thought I lost a friend or relative. But I didn't. I did, however, cry like a newborn baby denied the milk of its mother. On Sunday, May 16th, 2010, Ronnie James Dio died of complications due to stomach cancer. He was 67 years old. Normally, I don't cry so easily. And I sure as hell wanted to when I first heard about it. I officially got the news about 4 PM that day while I was at work, and it ruined that day for me. Things moved more slowly than they ever did before, the world in front of me seemed far less interesting and relevant than ever.

Dio's dead.

For several hours that night, those were only words. At about midnight or so the reality hit me and that was when the tears came. Mourning the loss of a celebrity can be tacky, it can be silly and it can be overblown, but this is probably the first time in my life where it honestly hit home and made me feel like I'd lost something.

When I was an awkward, uncool, lanky and scraggly fifteen-year-old I wasn't good at much. I struggled at running, school was boring and uninteresting, I couldn't play an instrument. I watched anime and listened to metal and fit in with a dozen or so different kids who were all "off" for different reasons. Social skills eluded me. Hell, I wasn't even cool enough to smoke weed. Escapism was my biggest joy. Music, video games, comic books, you name it, I was drawn into it.

Iron Maiden was my gateway drug. The larger than life persona of their mascot, Eddie, the over-the-top but still intelligent fantasy lyrics, the bombastic stage shows and power of their music sucked me into the world of heavy metal for life. This was about when file sharing really took off, and right before Napster became a pay service. I discovered AudioGalaxy, which had individual songs by every band I could think of. From there I slowly discovered other bands in the style, namely Black Sabbath.

Black Sabbath was what changed everything for me. Something about their earlier music seemed rawer and realer than anything I'd ever heard, still containing the escapism of Iron Maiden that I loved so much. I sucked up their earlier Ozzy-era records like a vacuum cleaner and still wanted more. The band's history was more convoluted than the Western world's. Someone on Iron Maiden's official messageboard clued me into the fact that the band's years with Ronnie James Dio would be a good place to go from there, and so one day, when I was at Exile on Main Street (my local record store) I saw two used copies of the band's Heaven and Hell and The Mob Rules albums. Without a second thought I dropped sixteen bucks on the CDs and let them take hold of my life.

Suddenly this new and exciting world of music was open to me. The Dio era of the band was able to marry the realness of the original Black Sabbath with the high fantasy, escapism and swords-and-sorcery atmosphere and fast tempos that I loved so much about Iron Maiden. Holding it all together was the little man with the big voice, Ronnie James Dio. His at times nonsensical imagery and lyrics bordering on the absurd, the two albums were exactly what my fifteen-year-old self demanded. Dio understood me, throwing himself a hundred percent into whatever flights of fancy he dreamed up, no matter how ridiculous they were.

Fifteen-year-old me wanted to be cool. He wanted to fit in, be understood and loved and a part of something. Through the music and words of Ronnie James Dio, that fifteen-year-old eventually learned that even if you don't have all those things, the best thing a person can have is the ability and strength to be himself, no matter how derided or ridiculed he may be, no matter how much he may want to be someone else. Through his art and devotion to his fans, Dio taught us all that giving up is not an option, that the individual will triumph through hardships and carry on and be stronger for it.

Thank you, Ronnie.

Top 10 of 2009 Part 2: 10-1

Here's the follow-up to the first ten of the top twenty of 2009. I don't claim to be a critic so I don't deal in cultural milestones, pop music or any of the other crap your friends at Rolling Stone may be soiling themselves over. This is just music that helped get me through a very exciting and turbulent year. Hopefully if anyone reading this sees something they like I will have gotten some of my favorite bands new fans!

10. Them Crooked Vultures - Them Crooked Vultures
Another supergroup???? Normally releases like this are massive hype/income generators for the musicians involved (or in the case of Velvet Revolver or Audioslave, mainstream radio rock shit heaps) that fade away once it's time for the main bands to put out a record. Where TCV differs is in the music itself - it's fresh, vital and out of the ordinary. Many fans complained that the band sounds too much like Queens of the Stone Age, but I get the feeling that those people gave the album one or two listens and gave up. If this was put out under the QOTSA name I'd say it was their best release since Songs For the Deaf. As it is, TCV have unleashed a rocking and textured album that recalls not only the best moments in Homme's post-Kyuss catalog, but also includes elements of classic Zeppelin, Cream and psychedelia. Definitely more of a grower than a shower.

Recommended Tracks: No One Loves Me and Neither Do I, Bandoliers, Reptiles, Warsaw or The Last Breath You Take Before Giving Up, Caligulove


9. Fever Ray - Fever Ray
My exposure to electronic/dance oriented music has been very limited, and my knowledge of Sweden's The Knife even more so, so the fact that one of my favorite releases of the year is a sideproject of their singer is kinda bizarre. A friend of mine played me a track off this album sometime in November and I was hooked. The combination of ethereal, haunting vocal melodies and otherworldly atmospheres sucked me in from the first track. The beats and use of texture on this album are exquisite, drawing the listener in one track at a time as each song improves upon the last.

Recommended Tracks: If I Had A Heart, Seven, Concrete Walls, Keep The Streets Empty For Me

8. Porcupine Tree - The Incident
I think Steven Wilson has been spending a lot of time listening to his own solo work. And who can blame him? His latest album, 2008's Insurgentes is a mix of classic Porcupine Tree riffing, psychedelia and ambient noise. The influences on that record have definitely found their way into the 'Tree's latest two-disc offering, a shocking left hand turn coming off of 2007's successful Fear of A Blank Planet. Where the previous album dealt in Meshuggah-esque heaviness, bewildering song structures and the occasional bit of pop, The Incident takes every element of the band's twenty-year career and consolidates them into a single fifty-minute suite. While lacking in some of the great hooks that made albums like In Absentia and Lightbulb Sun so rewarding, The Incident is one great slow-burn of a double album that slowly yields its rewards over time.

Recommended Tracks: The Blind House, Drawing The Line, Time Flies, I Drive the Hearse, Bonnie the Cat

7. Shrinebuilder - Shrinebuilder
This album has the noteworthy distinction of being the second supergroup on the list, the second album to feature Wino and the third to be self-titled. I would also consider it to be the first "meta-doom" album ever released. After all, with a lineup like Wino (The Obsessed, Saint Vitus), Scott Kelly (Neurosis), Al Cisneros (Om, Sleep) and Dale Crover (Melvins), anything they release can be considered kind of a commentary on the past, present and future state of doom metal. The music on here is surprising considering the members' pedigrees - rather than tap into the misanthropic dirges of Neurosis or the rocking swagger of The Obsessed, the album plays out closer to an Om record with multiple vocalists and harmony guitars. Although it's very easy to pick out parts ("That's a Scott riff, that's a Wino riff," etc) it's the way each member contributes to the whole that makes this a compelling listen.

Recommended Tracks: Pyramid of the Moon, The Architect

6. Heaven and Hell - The Devil You Know
This is nowhere near the best recording that Ronnie James Dio, Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler and Vinny Appice have made together, but I'll be damned if it isn't the freshest sounding. Let's dispense with the formalities, this IS the record Black Sabbath would've made if they were still together in 2009. Although it's a flawed album (some of the song structures are repetitive and some tracks are lackluster), the fact that it's this GOOD and HEAVY and springs forth with more life than a lot of bands half their age shows how much the world still needs a working Black Sabbath lineup. And work they do... Dio's on his third chemo treatment for stomach cancer and they already have tourdates booked for June of this year!

Recommended Tracks: Atom and Evil, Fear, Bible Black, Follow the Tears

5. The Appleseed Cast - Sagarmatha
Okay, I said Animal Collective's newest would be the prettiest-sounding album on the list and that was a lie. Sagarmatha by the Appleseed Cast is! Let's just ignore the fact that the artwork on the CD version is a complete joke (the LP sleeve is what's pictured) and discuss the shimmering, orgasmic music contained within. Their brand of indie/post-rock is all-too-commonly imitated in today's musical landscape and it's refreshing to hear that the band can still come up with interesting, vital music that leaves imitators dead in their tracks.

Recommended Tracks: The Road West, One Reminder An Empty Room, Like A Locus (Shake Hands With the Dead)

4. Katatonia - Night is the New DaySo their last two albums were kinda nu-metally (kinda as in "hey, let's play heavy like Tool and swear a lot to captivate American audiences!") but not really that bad. As a fan of the band's great albums Last Fair Deal Gone Down and Tonight's Decision, though, I longed for the day Katatonia would return to a more textured, atmospheric sound and Jonas would go back to crooning as though his heart had been torn out and stomped on. While still a natural progression from 2006's The Great Cold Distance, NITND finds Katatonia in a very dark, desolate place. The band finds solace in the sadness of Jonas Renske's vocals, Anders Nystrom's heavy riffs and the deep, dark blanket of synths provided by newcomer Frank Default. The most exciting thing about this album, though, is wondering how the hell they're gonna follow it up!

Recommended Tracks: Forsaker, The Longest Year, Onward Into Battle, Nephilim

3. MF Doom - Born Like This
Doom went into obscurity for a good four years only to reappear in early 2009 with this dark, angry and cynical release. Sure, there are some recycled beats and tracks here and there but it's all capped off by Doom's insane flow and cryptic, scathing and humorous lyrics. The production is uniformly good and the inspired guest spots (including Ghostface, Raekwon, Empress Starhh, Bumpy Knuckles and others) help to set this album apart from so many others released this year.

Recommended Tracks: Gazillion Ear, Ballskin, Batty Boyz, Angelz, Microwave Mayo

2. Doomriders - Darkness Come AliveI like Doomriders' first album, Black Thunder. It sounds like Danzig and Entombed had a little too much whiskey one night and had a baby and then let a bunch of street punks adopt it. It was a fun little record, backed up by a tight and fun live show. I honestly wasn't expecting a followup, and certainly not one this good. Darkness Come Alive makes Black Thunder look like an anomaly, the difference between graduating middle school and graduating college. While BT was a fun-time party record, Doomriders seriously up the ante on their second release, crafting an album that manages to be both stone-cold serious and fun at the same time. The riffs are fantastic and diverse, covering ground between old-school heavy metal, tough-guy hardcore and stoner rock without seeming derivative or forced at any time. The vocals scream and yell with passion and venom. This album is so good I almost wish Nate Newton would quit Converge and tour with Doomriders full time.

Recommended Tracks: Come Alive, Crooked Path, Lions, Blood Avenger

1. Church of Misery - Houses of the Unholy
Everything about this album is perfect. From the excellent, Blue Note Records-inspired artwork to the crushing but clear production, Church of Misery's third full-length album swaggers confidently out of Japan into the U.S via Rise Above Records (now distributed by Metal Blade!) and we are all better people because of it. They take elements of Eyehategod, classic heavy metal (Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Sir Lord Baltimore [who see a hell of a cover on this album]) and a weirdness associated only with the Japanese and make a miraculous, clever and blood-soaked album that should be mandatory listening for any fan of doom metal. Every element, from the artwork to the serial killer themes to the music itself, coalesces in a way that somehow manages to one-up every other album that came out this year.

Recommended Tracks: El Padrino (Adolfo De Jesus Costanzo), Blood Sucking Freak (Richard Trenton Chase), Born to Raise Hell (Richard Speck)

Honorable Mentions:
Dalek - Gutter Tactics
The Gates of Slumber - Hymns of Blood and Thunder
Mastodon - Crack the Skye
Parlamentarisk Sodomi - De Anarkistikske An(n)aller
Raekwon - Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II